i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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