it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
