It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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