I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Can you bring me the toilet please
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
