Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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