btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
