we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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