The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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