Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
