you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
