No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
