Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
