Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
