Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
