I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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