i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
