yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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