The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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