Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
