The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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