There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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