Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
