I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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