i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
