I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
