In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
