Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
