If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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