i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
