I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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