maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
