while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
