Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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