I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
