No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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