member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
