you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
