yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Sext me about skeletons
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
