I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
