You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
