Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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