ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
