The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
