well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
there is glitter all over my balls
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