dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
