Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
