we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
