I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
