apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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