you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
